what about your friends?
In my blog “you’re powerful, know that” I talked about using your power to let go of grudges & make room for new connections. I want to get more personal & speak on my experience with my college friendships.
When I started college one of the things I really wanted was a solid friend group. My close friends in high school were attending different universities than me, so it was important for me to find a group where I felt I belonged. People that I could enjoy the best parts of the college experience with.
I'm an extrovert & have a welcoming energy, so it was easy for me to acquire the friendships that I thought I needed but as the years went on I realized that with groups come drama. I'm a really kind person, I try to see the good in everyone or give people the benefit of the doubt, but I think that I was very naive to some of the people around me. It was hard for me to discern between who was really my friend & who was just using me for personal gain or kept me in their circle for convenience.
This was such a harsh reality for me to grasp because I wanted to have a community, a tribe. I was confused when I started to notice people acting weird towards me & it hurt me when I found out the same people I called ‘friend’ were talking about me behind my back.
I went through periods of loneliness & feeling like maybe I was the problem, but a time came when I had to ask myself if these friendships were worth lowering my value for. It was during this time that I developed a deeper appreciation for the few genuine connections I did have. Friends that were honest with me & always made me feel like I belonged.
I have love for everyone that I've called a friend, but I’ve accepted that I’m not meant to have that many. Even though my intentions are pure, I can’t force a deep connection into unaligned friendships. I'm at peace knowing that I did what I could & I appreciate the roles everyone has played in life.
On top of all of that, I don’t associate myself with those who befriend people with motives other than love. We know the old phrase “birds of a feather flock together” & I truly believe when you associate yourself with people who don’t move from a place of love, it can rub off on you. I’ve had to catch myself from being petty, passive, & presumptuous like the people I was around.
I'm no longer in the business of matching energy, my only desire is to protect mine.
As you reflect, take the time to recognize those who are really for you. Ask yourself these questions:
Are the people I call friends pouring into me the way I pour into them? If I keep these friendships, will I be sacrificing my integrity & values?
